


Nocturne

by letsgohome



Series: Bloodsucker [2]
Category: Phan, Phandom, dan and phil
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood and Injury, Character Turned Into Vampire, M/M, Phan Vampire AU, Vampire! Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsgohome/pseuds/letsgohome
Summary: When Phil was walking home from the late shift, he is attacked. When he finds himself waking up in a coffin, 6 feet underground, he knows something very weird happened to him. What had he become? How would he tell Dan?





	1. Nocturne

**Author's Note:**

> Guess what, it’s named after another Paralysed Age song because I’m still trash. (Again, here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L1Ze9e9Xc8) Anyway, this is basically a prequel of Bloodsucker, focusing on Phil getting turned and how he chose to deal with it. This one will be chaptered though, with the events of Bloodsucker happening somewhere towards the middle. Also constructive criticism is well appreciated!

Phil doesn’t normally work the late shift. But this time there was no one else to fill in. He had to do it. Even though he definitely didn’t want to be here, working this terrible job, here he was. This is what his English degree got him. It got him here. Whatever, the shift was almost over. He can almost go home. He would still get to skype dan and he would still be able to complain to him about his job, and he would still get to say that he loves him.

His shift ended and he rushed out of the building. As he stepped out into the chilly December air, he realized that his bus had come long ago. It was too late to call any of his friends to give him a ride as well. They were probably all asleep by now. The only option was to walk home. He sighed, pulled his scarf tighter, and set off.

He was almost glad for the walk. The night sky was actually very pretty tonight. He’s never out that late due to always skyping Dan, so he doesn’t really get to appreciate it that often. The air was too cold though, and there was an even colder wind that came and went. The puffs of breath in front of him a visual representation of how damn cold he was, but there was nothing he could do to change it. All he could do about the cold was zip his jacket up and keep walking.

It was as he was walking, cursing to himself about the cold, that he felt a hand grab his arm and yank him to the side, into an alley. He struggled against the grip, but he couldn’t break free. Instead, his struggles combined with the stranger trying to pull him caused Phil to fall. He hit the ground with a thud, his head cracking on the ground. Because of his daze from the impact, the man was able to pull him up by his collar and pin him against the wall. Still groggy, he tried to struggle against the man, but it was no use. He had him stuck there, the attacker’s face inches from his. Even though Phil knew he was trapped, he still tried to get away. 

“Oh I just love how you all still struggle, even if you know how utterly hopeless it is.” The attacker said, seemingly amused. It was then that Phil noticed just how little effort it took the man to keep him pinned.

“Please… Don’t do this” Phil pleaded, letting a tear fall, knowing his demise was imminent now. 

“Oh, there’s the pleading as well. Why do you all think that will work? You think that if you ask nice enough that it’ll stop.”It seemed like he was talking more to himself than to Phil. Phil didn’t fully understand what the man meant by ‘you all’ but what he did understand was that he was about to die.

“Well no more small talk I guess.” He said, his face morphing. It changed into something hideous. It had terrible yellow eyes and its skin was folded and morphed. The most prominent thing on its face, however, was the fangs. It had long, extremely sharp fangs. Phil had watched enough Buffy to understand what was going on now. He writhed away, trying to get away from the vampire (because what else could that thing be?). He knew it was no use, but he was acting purely on instincts now, no more rational thought left. 

The vampire must have been getting impatient. He didn’t even make some kind of quip about how Phil was still struggling. Instead, he just sunk his fangs into Phil’s neck. Phil cried out in pain, only to have his mouth covered by the vampire’s cold hand. Phil began sinking into a dizziness and his body went cold. He continued to struggle as much as he could with his ever decreasing strength. He could feel his life draining, and as a last resort he bit the man’s hand that covered his mouth, too out of it to think of the consequences. Even that didn’t do enough though, as all the vampire did was remove his hand from Phil’s mouth. He had lost too much blood had too little strength, to yell. The last thought in his mind was of how Dan would be with him gone before everything went black.  
\--------  
Phil was not expecting to wake up. Especially not in a coffin. He tried to lift the top, but he couldn’t. It seemed to be sealed shut by something, but he didn’t know what. He tried banging and kicking on it, but that didn’t work either. He started to yell.  
“Help! I’m trapped in here!” He waited for a response, but none came. He had to get out of there. It was too small, too close to him. Surely he would run out of oxygen soon. He started to panic, to kick the top harder. Eventually, his foot broke through the wood and dirt began to fall on him. Had he actually been buried alive?? How could that happen? Did no one realize he was still alive? He had heard about it happening before, but he never thought it could happen to him. It seemed the only way he was going to survive was to dig himself out. He started moving dirt to the edges of the coffin and once he had thought he had enough, he made the hole in the coffin bigger and stood up, the still loose dirt giving way. This may be the only time reading all of those random articles online will help him in any situation.

When Phil broke to the surface and pulled himself up, he looked around. He was surprised to see that he recognized his surroundings, as he was in the cemetery not far from his parent’s home. _Why would I be back in Lancashire?_ He asked himself. Still reeling from the fact that he was buried alive, but apparently now he figured it was his own parents that had buried him. How could they not realize he was still alive? Were his parents grieving? How would they react if they knew they had buried him when he wasn’t dead? Oh god, he couldn’t imagine his parents grieving over him. 

Phil decided that it would probably be best to tell his parents that he was not actually dead and they had no reason to grieve. He just had to find his old house from here, which wouldn’t exactly be an easy task. He didn’t exactly remember which direction it was in. He sighed, took a guess, and started walking. As Phil walked, the brisk night reminded him of what had happened before he woke up here. He shuddered, remembering the pain. How long ago had that been? How long had he been buried? And what was that thing that had almost killed him? 

He dwelled on those questions until, surprisingly, he saw a familiar house in the distance. _Wow_ , he thought. _I was actually right about the direction._ He quickened his pace, but just as soon as he sped up, a realization made him slow again. How would he do this? Would he just knock on the door and be like ‘Hey mum, I’m not actually dead.’ He couldn’t do that, his mum would have a heart attack. But he supposed he didn’t have much of another choice. He wanted to do this as soon as possible, as to not make them any more sad. He didn’t want to wait around trying to come up with something clever to say. He choked down a stab of fear that he couldn’t quite pin the reason for and resumed walking to his childhood home. 

He knocked on the door, nervous as to how his mum would react. He didn’t have to imagine it long as she quickly opened the door, looking like she had been crying recently.

“Hell- Phil?” She said, her eyes widening, skin going pale. She looked as if she had seen a ghost. Well, in her case she probably thought she had. Phil gave her a small, almost apologetic smile.

“Hey mum...” He started. He didn’t have a plan. He didn’t know how to do this.  
“How are you here? Are you a ghost?” It was plain to see she was terrified. She understood the situation about as much as Phil did. They both previously thought he had died in that alley, yet here he was. On his mum’s doorstep.

“I’m not a ghost, mum. I’m alive.”

“But- But we buried you! You were dead! We saw your lifeless body on the examining table. They said you had been exsanguinated, Phil. No one just comes back from that!” Exsanguinated? Surely that wasn’t true. How would he be alive if he had been drained of all of his blood?

“Maybe they just got it wrong. I’m sure there’s some kind of explanation to it.” There seemed to be something click in her mind as her eyes widened once more.

“Oh god… If you’re here… That means we buried you alive. Oh god Phil I’m so sorry. You must have been so scared.” 

“Yeah that’s a bit of an understatement.” He laughed awkwardly. “But I don’t blame you. I had thought I was dead too. I definitely didn’t expect to wake up from that.” 

“What exactly happened? All the detectives would tell me was that they found you in an alley and that they suspected an animal attack.”

“Animal attack?” Why would they think it was an animal attack? Phil knew the circumstances of his attack was weird, but how could they mistake it for an animal attack of all things? 

“Let’s just go inside and we can sort this all out.” Phil nodded. He really didn’t want to be outside at night any longer than necessary. They walked inside and Phil sat down on the old couch while his mum sat in a chair across from him. “Okay, so how exactly did this happen?”

Phil recounted the events as his mum flinched at every gruesome detail. She didn’t want to hear this, but she needed to know. She needed to understand what had happened. As he told her about the pain in his neck and the man’s appearance, his mum gave him a puzzled expression. 

“What is it?”

“Well… You said that he had fangs, right? And the pain in your neck… You don’t think… Oh god I don’t even want to imagine that possibility.”

“What possibility?” As he said that, he realized what she meant. She meant that Phil’s attacker had been a vampire. He didn’t mention in his recounting that at the time he had thought the same thing. But, she seemed to have come to the same conclusion on her own. Phil sighed, not wanting to think about it either. 

“To be honest, I thought the same thing while it was happening... But that’s not possible, right? They don’t exist. Maybe it was just some weirdo who gets off on acting like a vampire, got his teeth sharpened and happened to nick the vein with them, making me lose a lot of blood and pass out. That could be it, right?” He knew that the notion was a long shot, and he could tell his mum did as well by the look on her face. 

“Okay. So maybe this is real. And this did happen. But don’t you have to drink their blood to become one? Isn’t that some vampire rule? You didn’t do that, did you?” Phil tried to think back to that night. Most of it was hazy, his mind unclear from the blood loss. He did have a vague memory of doing something as a last ditch effort to get away though, and the more he thought about it, the more scared he got. When the memory finally returned to him, he gasped. 

“I think… I think I might have… Oh god, mum I bit his arm to try to get away. I must have gotten some blood in my mouth. I wasn’t thinking- I couldn’t think straight. I had lost too much blood already and I bit his arm, thinking that maybe he’d let me go. I was too out of it to realize what it would do to me.” This was real. This was _actually_ real. Phil wasn’t actually alive. He had died, and his parents buried him. He should have stayed there, underground. But because of stupid human instincts, here he was. In his mum’s house, close to tears at the realization that he had become one of these monsters.

“Maybe the guy wasn’t actually a vampire. Maybe you were right.” Phil’s mom was the one that had presented the idea, but now that she knew her son was one of them, she was backing away from the truth of her previous statement. She was just as scared as Phil was. 

“No. Think about it. This has to be it. The mortician said I’d been exsanguinated, right? And the detectives tried to write it off as an animal attack. Not to mention I was literally dead for a bit before waking up in a coffin. There’s nothing else it could be. It’s the truth, but it’s okay. We’ll figure this out. It’ll be okay.” Phil’s mum sighed, running a shaky hand through her hair.

“This isn’t happening. This _can’t_ be happening.”

“It is, mum. And there’s not really much we can do to change it.” His mum sighed again. 

“Right. Yeah, we can’t avoid this. Um… I’ll help you get through this. I am your mum after all, it’s my job to do that.”

“Thanks. I know how hard it is for you to say that. I’m having a hard time believing it myself, but what else could have happened? Do you mind if I stay here while I figure this all out?”

“Yeah, sure. Stay as long as you like… I still can’t believe this is real.” 

“I can’t either.” 

He spent that night in his old room. He didn’t sleep though. He didn’t even know if vampires can sleep. Whether he could sleep or not, he was much too scared too. He was scared of what he had become, what he would do. If he was a vampire, did he have to kill people too? He guessed he did, considering what happened to him. He thought about this for a while before letting his thoughts drift to Dan. He was avoiding letting himself think of him. He didn’t know what he would do. Would he tell him? Did he even know that Phil had died? He imagined his parents had told him, but maybe they didn’t. How would he react if he knew? The rest of the night, he thought of Dan and nothing else. This is why he didn’t let himself think about him before. He knew once he started he wouldn’t stop thinking about him and what would happen when he went back to talking to him. He couldn’t talk to him yet, though. Not until he was sure of what he could do. Not until he was sure that he wouldn’t hurt him. 

The next morning, he asked his mum about Dan. She said that they hadn’t told him yet. They just weren’t emotionally ready to tell anyone. _Dan didn’t know._ Dan didn’t know that Phil died. He didn’t know Phil had come back. He didn’t know that anything was different. He still couldn’t bring himself to message him though. He didn’t want to start talking to him, only to realize he’d have to leave him for good because of what he might do. 

It came slowly. Starting as a slight tickle in the back of his throat. By the time the night came, it was an unbearable burning. Like you hadn’t drank water for weeks. Phil had tried to drink water, to vanquish the fire in his throat. Nothing helped. He knew what it needed, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Over the next few days it grew worse. It became excruciating. He had even been beginning to have thoughts about how easy it would be to kill his mum. His _own mother_! He had to do something about it. And it had to be tonight. 

After his mum went to sleep, he snuck out of the house and into the night air. Tonight was very much like the one of the attack. Pretty stars, clear sky. A wind blowing, though he couldn’t feel the chill. It was weird to him, not being able to feel the cold. There wouldn’t be any puffs of air in front of him either, as he didn’t even breathe anymore. He never thought he’d miss the cold, but he did. Now that he can’t feel it, he misses it. He sighed and ignored his wandering mind. He started to walk, scanning for anyone on their own in the night. 

Phil’s eyes locked on to someone. A man, seemingly coming from work, just like Phil had been that night. Any remorse he would have had was gone as instincts kicked in. He walked behind the man for some distance, then got closer. The man looked back and noticed him, picking up his pace. Phil picked up his is return. Realizing he was being followed, the man started to run. Phil found, however, that he was faster. He ran and tackled the man, pinning him to the ground. He also found that he was much stronger. He kept the struggling, horrified man down with little effort. It was then that Phil realized just how hungry he was. He skipped any kind of talking or taunting to the man that most vampires seem to do and just went for the kill. All the man got out was one small “Please” before his body went limp. 

Phil quickly got up and ran from the body. He couldn’t believe he had done that. He was scared, sure, but of being caught, not of what he had just done. Mostly though, he was invigorated. He had actually taken the life of a person. He felt weird; like he should have felt bad about this, but he doesn’t. It was what he had to do to survive, so what was so wrong with that? Maybe he _should_ feel bad. Phil brushed that thought off, though. He was a vampire after all, what else did people expect of him? He certainly felt better after it. The burning in his throat was completely gone. 

Phil stayed with his mom for a few more days. He found that if he fed when the burning in his throat came, he didn’t have any thoughts about killing until it came again. After a few times, he was confident that he could talk to Dan without any potential risk. After all, nothing had happened to his mum yet, so it should be fine. He got out his computer- it was with him when he was attacked and his mum was given all of his belongings that were at the scene- and opened skype. He saw Dan was online and typed him a quick message, apologizing for not getting to talk to him and blaming it on his crazy uni schedule. Dan replied almost immediately, saying that it was alright and moving on to how bored he was when Phil was gone. 

After that they went back to talking like they did before Phil had gone. They messaged and Skyped every day. Phil smiled and laughed with him, but when he thought Dan wasn’t looking his smile dropped. He was almost sure that Dan had noticed this, but he didn’t say anything about it. Phil was glad that even though he may have noticed it, Dan never decided to bring it up. He felt almost guilty for not telling Dan. He wanted to tell him, but this had all been going so well and he didn’t want it to end. He worried that if Dan knew, he would leave. Scratch worried, he was sure he’d leave. It wasn’t exactly hard to move on when your boyfriend is a murdering supernatural creature. Sure, not telling Dan just so he would still date him was selfish, but Phil didn’t care. He just wanted Dan to stay with him. And if lying to him about nothing happening to him when “uni got crazy” was what he needed to do, then that’s what he would do. Besides, how would he even go about telling Dan? There was no way he could find a way to tell him without him freaking out.  
\------  
Time passed and they moved in together. Phil’s time staying at his mum’s house and his university dorm had taught him how to sneak out effectively. In fact, Dan didn’t seem to notice anything. He didn’t notice that Phil didn’t breathe, and his heart didn’t beat, or that he tended to avoid going out during the day at all costs. Phil had learned how to deal with his condition, and he was happy. He learned how to balance it and Dan at the same time, with Dan none the wiser. Dan still saw him as the happy, innocent person that he was before that night in the alley. 

Maybe he would never have to tell him. Maybe he could live out his whole life never knowing what Phil really was. No, that was completely unrealistic. Dan would grow old and Phil wouldn’t. Eventually Dan would get curious. He would have to tell him. He would tell him at some point. He didn’t know when, or how, but it would happen. But for right now, Dan didn’t need to know.


	2. Daylight Came and Burned My Neighbour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is getting tired of Phil never going anywhere with him. Phil doesn't know how to explain himself without telling Dan the truth. But how is he going to get out of this without revealing himself? Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else hate the word “feed” too? Idk why I just hate it so much it sounds and looks so awful. “Food” is pretty bad too but “feed” is just so much worse. I just avoid it like the freaking plague, especially in vampire stories. I don't know maybe I'm weird and other people don't mind it as much as I do. Also this chapter (and possibly the next one or two??) is going to be a bit short soz.

“Hey, do you want to come with me to go get some groceries?” Dan already knew the answer. Phil didn’t really go many places with him during the day. He would always just stay home, making up excuses like editing or needing to do other various unimportant things. 

“Nah, I’ll just stay here and edit the gaming video.” Dan sighed. He didn’t know why he still hoped that Phil would come, it’s not like his track record was very good. All Dan wanted to know was why. Why wouldn’t Phil go with him places? 

Was Phil embarrassed to be seen with him? That couldn’t be the case, right? They did appear in countless videos together, both showing equally embarrassing parts of themselves. So what reason would Phil have to not want to be around him in public? Why couldn’t he do so much as go to the store with him? What was his _deal_?Maybe he’d confront him about all of this after he’d gone to the supermarket.  
\---------------  
As Dan got back home, he made a decision. He was going to talk to Phil, and he was going to do it now. He put up the groceries, then walked to where Phil was sat. He was in the same spot as he was when Dan left, on the couch in the lounge. Dan sat next to him, gathering up the courage to confront him. He’d have to be prepared for any possible answer Phil would give him.

“Hey, Phil. I have a uh, a bit of a serious question for you.” Phil’s blood ran cold. Well, if it could it would. He always had this reaction anytime Dan said something like this. His mind immediately jumps to Dan somehow having figured out that he’s not human. He never knew how he would have found out, but that’s still his first thought. 

“What is it?” 

“Well, uh… It’s just that…” Dan was getting really nervous now. He felt like the answer wasn’t going to be one he wanted to hear. “Why don’t you go anywhere with me? Like ever?”

“What do you mean?” Phil knew exactly what he meant. Because Phil couldn’t go out in the sun, it meant that he couldn’t go out with Dan. Not to the shop, not on a date, not anywhere. So long as the sun shined, he was trapped in the house. 

“I mean, sure we go out occasionally. But when we do it’s at night. Where there are no people around. Are you… embarrassed to be seen with me?”

“Of course I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you!”  


“Then why else would you never go out anywhere with me?”

“It’s not specifically with you. I just don’t go out. I hate going out, is all.” Phil didn’t really know how to handle this situation. It’s not like he’s had to do this before. The only other person he’s lived with after turning was his mum, and she knew why he never left. He couldn’t tell Dan, not now. He wouldn’t even believe him anyway.

“Yeah, sure. You seem just fine leaving at night. When no one is around to see us together.” Dan was livid now. Phil could have just told him yes. That would have been less painful than him making up these excuses. 

“It’s just- It’s different, okay?”

“And how is it different, exactly?”

“I can’t explain it… I just need you to trust me on this.”

“Whatever. You don’t actually love me. It’s fine.” 

“Where the hell did you get that I don’t love you?” Phil looked at Dan, incredulous. How could Dan _possibly_ think he didn’t love him?

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you never want to go anywhere with me and on the off chance you do you look extremely uncomfortable the entire time. Not to mention that you’re constantly leaving the bed at all times of the night. Don’t think I didn’t notice that.”

“Okay, first off, it’s just crazy to think that I don’t love you because of me not liking to go out during the day. Second, I just have a hard time sleeping. I don’t want to wake you up so I just get out of bed.” That wasn’t technically a lie. Phil couldn’t actually sleep, even if he wanted to. A lot of the time he left the bed he was just scrolling through tumblr, not even killing people.

“Sure. Sleeping problem. Totally.” Phil sighed. He didn’t know how to explain himself without telling Dan what he was. No matter how much it hurt their relationship, he couldn’t tell Dan. It would just end up hurting them even more. Besides, Dan wouldn’t even believe him if he did tell him right now. He’d just write it off as another one of Phil’s excuses. 

“I have a reason I just- I can’t-”

“Whatever.” Dan cut him off before storming into his room, locking the door. Phil sighed once again. He wasn’t sure how he’d get out of this one, or if he even could. Maybe once Dan cooled down Phil would have a reasonable explanation. Yeah, he’d have to come up with one, but it seemed he had time, judging by how angry Dan was. He just hoped they could figure out a way to get through this. He didn’t know what he’d do if this relationship fell through. Sometimes he felt like Dan was the only thing keeping him grounded. The only thing keeping him sane. And if he was without that… Well, Phil imagined it wouldn’t be pretty. 

No, they’d have to figure things out. Not only for Phil’s sake, but everyone he came into contact with. He didn’t like to imagine what would happen, but that didn’t stop it from coming to the forefront of his mind from time to time. Well, time to time was a bit of an understatement, as he entertained the thought alarmingly often. He even knew exactly how it would go if it did happen. 

First, Dan would likely be the first to suffer. Mostly just because of proximity. Also, Phil was normally able to keep the violent thoughts at bay by eating on a regular basis, but vampires get mad easily. And when he’s mad the thoughts come back, no matter now recently he had fed. Like for instance, right now. He wanted to kill something. Not necessarily Dan, just _something_. If a fight that bad were to happen and Dan decided to actually break up with him, Phil feared that this feeling would end up being immediately taken out on Dan. 

He probably wouldn’t be able to stop himself after Dan, either. Countless people would die. It wouldn’t even be about living anymore, just taking out all of his anger on people. So many innocent people’s lives would be taken, all because of Phil’s inner turmoil. It would be messy, and there would be bodies piling up rapidly. 

After he had decided he was done, he’d have to leave. There would be too many people dead to continue blaming it on animal attacks. They would be too similar. Someone would notice the pattern, and he couldn’t have vampires being exposed. He would leave to a new city, and the investigators would never find him. It’d just be another cold case where the crazed serial killer was never found. 

Phil shook himself back into the present. He had let himself get enveloped into the thoughts of what _would_ happen, rather than thinking about how to fix what _did_ happen. He had to find a way to fix this mess he had created between him and Dan. First, though, he’d have to have a clear head. He’d have to feed, then he’d come up with something for when Dan inevitably wanted to talk to him about it again. Yeah, that's his plan for now. He'd fix this somehow.


	3. Sleepless Nights with Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit short like I said in the last chapter. The next one should be longer I hope. Idk though I have a plan for it but I’m not sure how long it’ll turn out. The chapter after will definitely be longer though. (Also if someone catches the reference in this I will love you)

Phil had never been a good liar. However, it was a skill that he had to learn fairly quickly if he was going to live with Dan. The lies came easily and quickly now, and he didn’t know whether to attribute that to his own skills or to being a perk of vampirism, though he suspected the latter. He had come up with quite a few excuses in the past few years. And somehow, Dan had seemed to buy them all. He may have been skeptical about some, but he never pushed it. Phil may not have liked lying when he was alive, but now he didn’t really care. It was for Dan’s well being after all, so it wasn’t all that bad. 

Along with getting better at lying, he’s made sure to be even more careful. He’d have to tiptoe around Dan to make sure that he didn’t suspect anything again. After the fight, he’s been extra aware of how Dan is acting towards him. If he believes his lie, if he’s acting moody at all, if his heart rate is accelerating when it shouldn’t, anything that could suggest that he’s upset at Phil for any reason. He’s also being more cautious when going out at night. Making absolutely sure that Dan is asleep when he’s leaving, and being as quick as possible so that when he gets back home Dan will still be asleep. He’s also tried to stop leaving the bed just because he’s bored laying there. He just kept his mind occupied, like he was doing right now. Sure, it was a lot of work on Phil’s part, but it was worth it. He’d do anything to keep Dan at his side for as long as possible.

Phil had also started actually going outside with Dan. If he wanted to masquerade as human, he’d have to actually go into the sun once in awhile. He’d finally figured out how to be in the sun, after many trials and errors. On his own, of course. He wasn’t about to have Dan see him bursting into flames the second he touched sunlight. No, he was pretty sure that wouldn’t help him in hiding what he was. Dan stayed away any time Phil tried to go out like this, and eventually he found the right balance of layers of clothes and well placed accessories that he didn’t look suspicious but also wasn’t smoking while he was out.

Phil was sure that the truth would get out eventually. But, until then, he’d try his damndest to keep Dan from thinking anything of him as anything other than the Phil he’s presented himself as. The happy-go-lucky, innocent, “literal ray of sunshine” Phil. -He’d always thought that nickname was hilarious. The irony of being a vampire called a ray of sunshine was pretty amusing to him. It’s like going up to a human and saying, “Oh, morning sulfuric acid!”.- As long as Dan kept thinking of him like this, then it would work out. The personality wasn’t a complete charade, either. He did act like that most of the time, there was just some small differences. Like being morally distant and having a not so slight bloodlust. Yeah, sure, slight differences. He just felt was better if he didn’t let those differences slip into his behaviour when he was around Dan. 

Because of Phil’s precautions, they were doing a lot better now. Dan had a lot of trouble trusting him after their big fight, but now he’s come back around. He seems to have really come back to the level of trust they had before. Phil thought that he might even trust him _more_ than before. After all, it had only been a short while they had known each other. Dan had a bit of an explosive nature. It would take a lot to make him actually mad, but when he was mad it was terrible. He could hold a grudge like no one Phil had ever known. It was a miracle that he can trust him now, and Phil was grateful albeit a bit surprised when Dan started to talk to him again. 

It was this part of Dan that had made Phil decide to avoid telling Dan the truth for as long as possible. If it took this long for Dan to trust him again over not going out with him during the day, he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if he knew Phil was dangerous. He’d hate him for keeping this a secret or just for being what he is or because there’s the possibility of Phil hurting him. Or he’d be scared of Phil. That’s the worst part to him; Dan would be scared of him.

He could see it now: Dan finds out somehow. Maybe Phil tells him, maybe he finds out another way. Either way, he’s looking at Phil. The same expression of fear that he sees in every one of the people he has to kill, only this time it’s mixed with a bit of hurt. All trust Dan in him that may have built up through the years immediately vanishes. Only fear remains. He wonders if Phil will hurt him, though why would he if he’s been living with him for that long. He wonders why it was him whose whole world had to come crashing down on. He wonders why it had to be then. He wants to get away from the monster that masqueraded as his loving boyfriend. He runs, and doesn’t look back.

This one Phil hadn’t put much thought into, he didn’t have to. It was pretty obvious what would happen. How Dan would react. Really it’s how anyone would act if they were in the same situation. One thing Phil’s already learned in his time as a vampire is that no matter how different people’s personalities may be, they all tend to handle fear the same way. The simple fight or flight reaction is present in every single human being. This doesn’t change if the person was close to Phil or not. Humans were just predictable like that. They all think they’re different but at their cores humans are all exactly the same. 

Phil supposed he wasn’t much different though. Even if he wasn’t technically human, he still had the same personality traits as one. He supposed that included all of those responses to emotions like fear and pain as well. He hadn’t really been in a situation to test that theory out, though, so there was no telling what he would do. Maybe he’d act like human Phil would, or Dan or any random person walking down the street, maybe he wouldn’t. Phil wasn’t exactly sure he even wanted to know.

He broke himself from his thoughts when he heard the picking up of a previously steady heart beat next to him. Dan was waking up. He didn’t even notice it had gotten light outside, let alone late enough for Dan to be awake. He glanced at the clock and sure enough, it was past noon.

“Morning, babe” He said as a still half asleep Dan turned to him.

“How are you always awake before me? I don’t understand.”

“Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you wake up consistently after 12.” Phil chuckled. Even when he was a human, he was always awake before Dan.

“It’d still be nice to be the first one awake at least once.”

“I really doubt that’s going to happen.”

“Why not? It could happen.” Phil gave his boyfriend a look to make Dan reflect on what he just said. “Okay yeah you’re right that’s probably not going to happen.” 

They both laughed as they got out of bed and moved into the living room for their routine of cereal and anime.


	4. How Deep Have I Been Drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is kind of where my other story Bloodsucker starts. This whole thing is basically a more fleshed out version of it so yeah. But I made sure that this won't be exactly the same as the other one if you've already read that.

Phil was leaving again. Dan could tell from all the shuffling coming from the living room and the blatant absence of Phil from his side in the bed. Dan was used to waking up like this now. It had happened so often that Dan’s come to almost expect it. He was always leaving in the middle of the night, not even leaving a note to tell Dan that he’d gone out. Not like Dan would have been awake by the time he had gotten back. He only stays out for a few hours and comes back and lays back down with him. He never mentions where he goes, never mentions why he’s leaving, or even that he left at all.

Why would he be going out this late? He had literally no reason to be going out. If he wanted to go partying and thought this was the only way, he was wrong. Dan may not be the type to go to those types of things, he didn’t mind if Phil did. There’s no reason not to tell him about it. He didn’t even know why Phil would feel like he needed to keep it secret. They didn’t really keep anything of themselves secret. No, that couldn’t be it. Phil would just tell him that that’s what he wanted to do. But if that wasn’t it, what could it be? 

Trying to figure it out, he reflected on Phil’s behavior recently. He’s only noticed him leaving a few weeks ago, and any time he wakes up at night, Phil’s either leaving or gone. There’s only a few times that he’s woken up in the middle of the night with Phil still at his side. Okay, so that’s a definite red flag. He’s also been acting weird. Dan’s noticed that Phil’s been deflecting questions. Even if they’re not extremely personal, he’ll try to point Dan’s attention to something else or give him a cryptic answer that’s not really an answer.

Dan didn’t really like thinking about any of this. He didn’t like the problems it presented or the fact that the possibility is even there. He hated that he had to think about this. It’s why he’s put off trying to find the most likely scenario until now. Now, he knew he really needed to get to the bottom of this. He _had_ to find out what Phil was doing. Maybe Dan’s wishful thinking was right and he just is going to parties or something.

But if he isn’t right, does Dan really want to know? Would he want to know if his boyfriend is sneaking around with someone else doing god knows what? Who is he kidding; of course he would. Dan would want to know. If Phil wasn’t happy with Dan and felt the need to do that he should know. Of course, Phil had no right to cheat on him. They could have talked it out, or done something to fix the problem. In Dan’s eyes, ending the relationship is better that cheating on someone. Still though, if Phil was cheating on him, he should know. That way they both could work out whatever problem they have, break-up or not. Anything would be better than this guessing Dan’s having to do now.

It’s not like Phil’s going to admit anything if he asks, though. He’d just come up with some excuse or change the subject. Asking him was definitely not an option. So how is he going to figure out where Phil’s going? He’s been watching Phil closely, but it hasn’t gotten him anywhere. No, the only real option he had was to follow him. He’d have to find out where he was going for himself.

\-------------------------------------------

Dan had been plotting all day. He may have been thinking about this all day, but his plan was still pretty shoddy. It would have to do though, because he needed to do this tonight. He’s have to feign sleep, get up after Phil had gone, and hope that he could catch up to him. He didn’t even know if this plan would work. What if he couldn’t find Phil? What would he say if he got a bit too close and Phil noticed him? He couldn’t really answer those questions, but he would figure them out if the problem did arise. 

It was time to hatch his plan. He laid down with Phil as he always would, and pretended to fall asleep. He stayed like this for a long time, unaware of how much time had passed. He made sure his breath was slow and even, and Phil didn’t seem to notice the difference as he slipped silently out of their bed. When he was out of the room, Dan sat up. It was time. He was actually going to do this.As soon as he hear the front door close, he got out of bed, threw on a jacket-it was a common thing for Dan to be too lazy to actually change before going to sleep- and headed out. He made sure to be as silent as possible as he slipped out into the brisk night air. He scanned his surroundings and spotted Phil, a little ways ahead of him. He made an effort to match their strides, as to not tip Phil off to someone walking behind him. He also made sure to maintain a safe distance. He wasn’t far enough behind him that he would lose him come a few abrupt turns, but he wasn’t close enough where Phil would be able to hear him.

They were walking, Dan realized, away from town. _That’s weird_ , Dan thought, _why would he meet someone out here?_ He shook the thought off, though. He couldn’t focus on that right now. He needed to be prepared for what he’d see. He needed to focus on that, not on the why or where he was going. Whatever he was about to see Phil do, he needed to be ready for it. That was the only way to actually be able to do this. He knew if he didn’t do this, he’d back out, and that wasn’t an option.

He really was making it hard for someone to follow him. He kept taking unexpected turns and walking through dimly lit areas. At one point Dan couldn’t see at all through the dark and had to just guess that Phil was still ahead of him. Maybe he sensed someone following him. That, or he does this every night, just to be certain. Dan couldn’t be sure which one it was. Either way, Dan was surprised that he had actually been able to keep up with him this far. Well, keep up wasn’t exactly the right word. Dan had fallen behind some distance, and he feared that if Phil took a few too many turns in close succession, he’d lose him.

After a while, and a few too many close calls, Phil finally stopped. He seemed to have spotted someone and he ducked into a nearby alley. _Aha_ , Dan thought, _I’ll finally get you._ He headed towards the alley, still far behind Phil. He was about to catch Phil red handed. He wasn’t excited about this, but his body still hummed. He was anxious. Did this really mean it was the end for them? Would there still be a Dan and Phil after this? Or would they not be able to recover from this and go their separate ways? He wasn’t even sure which one he wanted at this point. Of course, he still loved Phil, but if he was cheating on him, what was the point of continuing their relationship? He doubted they could work it out, but hey, it was still possible, right?

Reminding him once again that he couldn’t focus on this, he continued heading towards the alley. He forced his brain to only think of the task at hand, not the consequences. They could deal with those after Phil had been found out. As he approached the alley entrance, his anxiety worsened. He didn’t know exactly what he would see, but he was sure it’d be too much for him. After all, it had been 6 years now. It had been so long, and now it was most likely coming to a close. It all depended on this moment.

Dan reached the entrance to the side alley. To Dan, it looked like the mouth of a beast that he was about to walk straight into. He was walking into death. Not his own though, the death of a relationship. The beginning of an end. He took a deep breath and went in.


	5. Seconds Like Eternity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have a long chapter full of angst. Also this chapter took surprisingly little time to write? Like it felt like it was taking forever but it was only over the span of a few days apparently. I probably could have written better notes for this but it's 3 am so

Nothing prepared him for what he saw. He'd imagined all kinds of scenarios of how it would go down, but none were like this. He had spent the whole day, along with the walk here, trying to be mentally ready for whatever he’d see, but he knew now that was in vain. Nothing his brain could come up with was anything near what was around that corner. He couldn't have prepared for it, nor would he ever forget it. 

No, he wouldn’t forget the terrified set of eyes that met his own and froze him to the spot. Or the dark hair and familiar clothes that had to be his boyfriend, holding the struggling, scared girl to him. Or the sickening smell in the air; the horrific metallic smell that can only be blood. This image is what is going to stick with him. For the rest of his life, this will be here in the back of his mind.

It was then that, still unmoving, Dan caught a glimpse of Phil’s face. Really, it wasn’t Phil at all. It may have had his hair and his clothes, but nothing about his- _its_ would be the better word- face was Phil’s. It was grotesque and contorted. He could only see a portion of it, but it was enough to know that it was _not_ Phil. It couldn’t have been, right?

He wanted to move. To run, or to help the girl, or to even to just get out of plain sight, but he couldn’t. No matter how much he willed his feet to move, they stayed firmly planted in their spot. It was like his limbs were chained down by fear. He tried to say something, anything, but it seemed that his voice had gone along with his basic motor functions. He couldn’t move, or call for help, all he could do was stand and watch as the life drained from the poor girl.

He watched as the girl’s struggles began to get weaker and weaker. Eventually she stopped altogether and her eyes glazed over, frozen in the expression of fear that would forever haunt his dreams. The thing that wasn’t Phil dropped her, limp, to the ground. She hit with a thud that made him wince, but Dan knew that it didn’t matter anymore. He tore his eyes from her body, back up to the creature.

He could see it clearly now as the thing gazed down at the body lying at its feet. He could see the beady, yellow eyes that glinted in the little light there was. He also got a better look at the gross face. Along with the twisted, sunken in face, there were fangs. Horrible, long, sharp, fangs. Everything about this face was so completely not human. Everything about this face was so completely not Phil. 

Why, if this wasn’t Phil, did it look ever so slightly like him? He had to admit, the face-aside from the contorted areas, the yellow eyes, and the fangs-did kind of look like Phil. And it did have his hair and his clothes. But this wasn’t Phil. This couldn’t be Phil. Phil didn’t look like this. Phil wasn’t like this.

First off, Phil would never hurt anyone. No, there was no way that the Phil that Dan knew could be the thing standing in front of him. Phil made Dan deal with insects in the flat for god sakes. If he can’t so much as pick up an insect and throw it out the nearest window, he certainly wasn’t capable of killing anyone.

As Dan stared, the grotesque face, still gazing down at the lifeless form, seemed to morph. After a few seconds Dan realized it actually was morphing. It was shifting and changing, the fangs receding to normal teeth and the eyes returning to a natural color, no longer glowing in the light. It looked human again. It looked like _Phil_ again. There was no mistaking it now, this thing was Phil. How could this thing be Phil? He had known Phil for so long, he couldn’t be this. He _couldn’t._ Phil was human, not this thing.

The thing- no, Phi, Dan corrected himself- seemed to have noticed Dan’s presence. He looked up, and just as they locked eyes Dan was freed from the chains binding his feet and he ran. He ran and ran and ran, not thinking about where he was going. Thoughts were racing through his mind. What was Phil? Were there more of whatever he was out there? Why would he not tell Dan about this? Would he hurt him like he did to that girl now that he knew the truth? Was everything up to this point just a charade? Does he even really know Phil? He couldn’t even begin to answer any of the questions that popped in his head, though he suspected he didn’t want the answers.

It suddenly became clear to him, though, where his feet were taking him. He was headed towards the flat. He slowed.He couldn’t go back to the flat. Surely Phil would go there too, and he couldn’t be anywhere near him. But where else could he go? He couldn’t exactly turn up at someone’s house in the middle of the night. What would he even tell them? That he saw Phil murder someone and that he wasn’t human? No, they’d think he was crazy. He had nowhere to go, no one that could help him. He couldn’t stay out here either. Not with something like Phil out there. 

He had no choice. Maybe Phil would avoid the flat for a while, or just not come back entirely. Dan knew that was wishful thinking, but it was possible. He held onto this thought as he picked up his pace once again, ignoring the pain in his chest.

\------

Phil was shocked, to say the least, when he saw Dan. He had noticed someone standing there, but he didn’t think much of it at first. He just assumed it was someone who’d seen too much and he’d have to kill. But when he locked eyes and saw that terrified expression that almost looked like it was tinged with hurt starting back at him, he didn’t know what to do. He’s seen countless faces just like that one, but this was the only one that truly affected him.

He looked back down at the body and sighed. What was he going to do? Dan knew the truth, and would surely hate him for it. He couldn’t blame him, honestly. He’d probably have reacted the same way if he was human. He didn’t exactly have much time to have a real reaction when he first learned about the existence of vampires. At least Dan didn’t have to learn that way, right? This way was traumatic, but at least he wasn’t dead. That’s a plus.

He still needed to figure out what to do about all of this though. He knew Dan definitely didn’t want to see him right now, and he didn’t want to frighten him any more. He’d give him some space for now, he decided. Dan seemed to have gone in the direction of the flat, so Phil began walking the opposite way. He’d figure out what to say to Dan while he was walking. 

\--------

Hours later, when Dan heard the front door click, he was still shaking. He couldn’t get that image of that creature morphing back into Phil, blood still dripping down his chin out of his head. He knew Phil would come home eventually, but he had hoped it wouldn’t be this soon. As Phil came in, he looked tired. His brow was furrowed and he had rings under his eyes, an expression Dan didn’t normally see on an averagely bright and happy Phil. If Dan was being honest, it scared him. Quite a bit. Because he didn’t see this expression often, he couldn’t tell if Phil was angry or worried, though Dan desperately hoped it was the latter. He decided he would try to diffuse whatever emotion Phil was feeling by acting oblivious.

“Hey Phil, you’re home late. At a party or something?” He tried. Phil sighed, not buying into his feeble attempt at brushing the whole thing off. 

“I know you saw me, Dan”

“Saw what?” He tried again. He wasn’t really sure why he was still doing this. Maybe it was some kind of internal instinct. Instead of fight or flight he had ‘avoid the problem entirely and act like it never happened.’

“Dan. Stop this. I know you saw me in the alley and I want to explain.”

“Fine, yeah I saw you. But how exactly are you going to explain that Phil? You can’t just explain away what happened in that alley. I saw you _kill_ someone, Phil! And your face… Just what exactly _are_ you? Because you’re sure as hell not human.” 

“Yeah that’s what I’m about to explain. So uh… I don’t exactly know how to tell you this but uh…” He looked away, seemingly searching for the right words. “Well I’ll just come out and say it then… I’m a vampire.”

“What? But that’s not possible! Those things don’t exist!” Dan said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Until I was attacked by one.”

“No. This isn’t real. This can’t be real. I- I’m gonna wake up- or-or- something and none of this will have actually happened.” Dan put his head in his hands. 

“I’m sorry, but this is real. It’s not some dream- And you don’t understand how much I wished it was- but it’s really not. I didn’t want you to find out this way but you did and there’s no going back now.”

“How? How exactly did you want me to find out? And how long has this been going on? How long have you been hiding this from me?” He looked up at Phil. He wanted to know just how long Phil had been lying to him. He wanted to know how long Phil had been killing people right under Dan’s nose. 

“I was turned about a year after I met you so…” He looked down, clearly ashamed of how long he’s been doing this. Dan wondered, though, just how much of this was an act. Was he really sorry? Or was this just some kind of tactic?

“That long? Really? You could have told me at literally any time. But no, I had to figure out by seeing you fucking murder a girl.” He shot back. The image of that girl, lifeless on the ground, flashed to the forefront of his mind. He was still in disbelief that this was happening, but what else could explain what he saw? This was the truth. His boyfriend wasn’t human.

“You can’t seriously blame me for being afraid to tell you. I had only known you for a year. And it’s not something that I can casually slip into a conversation, is it? ‘What did you think of the new video? Oh, by the way, I was dead for a while and now I have to kill people to survive.’ wouldn’t exactly go over well.” Phil was getting frustrated now. He knew he should've told Dan earlier, but he knew it wouldn’t have gone much better than this. That’s why he’s avoided it for so long. 

“It still would have gone better than this. _Anything_ would have gone better than this.”

“Let me ask you this: Do you think you would have believed me? If I had told you the truth before today do you think you’d actually believe what I was saying?” Dan sighed. Phil had a point. It was all just so ridiculous. Dan would never had believed him if there wasn’t some kind of proof. 

“Still. There had to be some other way. It didn’t have to be like this. If you had told me earlier it would have been so much easier for me to accept this. It would have been so much easier for me to stay.” 

“Wait you’re not saying-”

“I don’t know what I’m saying.” Dan cut him off. “I just- I need time. To think or to adjust or whatever. I need space.” 

“Dan please.” Phil pleaded as he moved over, an arm outstretched, but Dan flinched away before his hand could land on his shoulder. 

“I think it’s best if you keep your distance for now.” The words weren’t cold, nor were they meant to be. They were frightened. They were the words of a man who still didn’t quite understand what was happening and who didn’t much appreciate his whole world turning upside down. However, Dan still recognized the hurt on Phil’s face and as much as he wanted to apologize and act like nothing was wrong, he couldn’t. This wasn’t some petty fight, it was huge. Because of this, everything had changed.

He just wanted things to be normal again. He wanted things to go back to when he still believed Phil was human. To when Phil was fun and innocent and they could laugh at each other’s stupid jokes. To when they could make baking videos at 3am for no other reason than sake of tradition. To when they would dance badly to cheesy music and steal kisses between when the camera stopped rolling. He just wanted to go back to being oblivious. 

He couldn’t go back though. He was aware of what Phil really was and he had to live with it. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t change it. So, now here he was, sitting across from his boyfriend, left to wonder how many of his fondest memories were merely a facade to keep him from learning the truth. He didn’t know what to do, but what he did know was he couldn’t be near Phil right now. He couldn’t deal with the truths that were presented in the person (Was he technically even a person anymore?) across from him.

Dan stood up, and without a word, went into his room, locking the door. Maybe there will come a day where he can talk to Phil, to ask him all the questions that were buzzing around in his head, but he knew that day would not come for quite some time. For now, all he was left with was an image that would never leave him, and a myriad of questions still left unanswered.


	6. Searching For My Melody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There seems to be a trend of me uploading these things in the middle of the night whoops. But yeah either way this chapter turned out longer than I expected so idk how long the next one will be? So sorry if the next one is kinda short.

Okay, Phil understood that Dan was afraid of him, but this was getting a little ridiculous. It had been over a month now, and Dan didn’t want to so much as say a single word to him. Phil tried and tried to talk to him, but he always just shut him out. He was getting sick of this. He was sick of the silence between them. He was sick of the way Dan looked at him when he thought Phil couldn’t see, and he was sick of knowing it was all his fault. Well, sort of his fault.

Dan didn’t even have the right to be mad at him. It wasn’t like it was Phil’s fault he was like this. He couldn’t change what had happened to him, he just had to live with it. Why couldn’t Dan? Dan was scared, and he had every right to be. The very thing he feared most, the supernatural, existed and he just recently figured it out, so of course he was scared. But there was something other than fear in Dan’s eyes as he stole glances at Phil. It was anger; maybe even disgust. And someone who distances themselves like this isn’t just scared. Fear didn’t justify _this._

He wanted to know why Dan was so angry. Was it because he didn’t tell him? That may be it, but he didn’t know what Dan had expected. He couldn’t tell Dan. It would have ruined everything. Dan must understand that. He thinks he would have reacted better, but Phil knew the truth. This would have happened no matter how Dan found out. He didn’t think their relationship could have handled it- it clearly still can’t handle it- and he didn’t want to lose Dan, so he didn’t risk telling. Or was he not mad at Phil, but rather at himself?

\------

Of course Dan was mad at himself. How could he have lived with Phil for so long and never noticed? He never even thought about the possibility. God, he was so _stupid._ To think, he actually loved Phil. And now to know that it was all built on this lie… Dan couldn’t help but think about what else in their relationship might be a lie. Was all of this a lie? The way that Phil looked at him, the happiness in his eyes when they were together, the shared moments… Were they all lies? No, they couldn’t be. Phil said he had been turned a year after they met. That meant that everything before that was real. If that was real, at least some of the things after that were too. He just hoped that it was most of it.

Truth be told, he felt bad. He didn’t want to shut Phil out, but it’s not like he gave him any choice. And he knew Phil had caught him watching him. He couldn’t help it though. Anytime he sees Phil he’s reminded of how stupid he was and he sees that scene all over again. He was just so _scared._ Not necessarily of Phil, because he could have killed him long ago if that was his plan, but of what it means. Phil not being human opened up the possibility of everything he feared being real. If vampires were real, what else is real too? He always told himself that this fear of his was irrational and silly, but he’s now learned that it was completely justified. So yeah, maybe he looks at Phil in the wrong way, but he wasn’t angry at him. Well, he was, but he could recognize now that he was just doing what he had to.

He just didn’t know how to feel. And when he got like that, he tended to lash out. Being angry was easier than trying to figure shit out in his head. He didn’t like not really knowing who to be angry at either. Maybe he was mad at Phil, maybe he was mad at himself, maybe both. He decided to just settle on being angry at the world. He was in a shitty situation, and so he was mad at the world. _Yeah, that’s good enough for now,_ Dan thought to himself. He could work out the rest of his feelings later.

\------

It was almost a year after that when Dan caught himself slipping. Sometimes when Phil tried to talk to him, knowing full well Dan wouldn’t answer, he surprised them both by answering. And occasionally, a bit too often for Dan’s liking, he caught himself looking at Phil. Not watching or observing him, just looking and admiring like he used to do. His feelings of anger towards everything had started to dissipate as well. He had seemingly come to terms at last.

He tried to fight it, to be angry at Phil again, to avoid him at all costs, but it was no use. When you live in the same house as someone, it’s hard to avoid them. You could only stay in your room for so long. And it seemed like every time Dan left him room, Phil was in his path. Between him and the kitchen, between him and the bathroom, the living room, anywhere he wanted to go, Phil was there. Frankly, avoiding Phil was a lot of effort and Dan was tired of it. He wanted to talk to Phil. To see what truth there was in what used to be. It really was time, Dan realized, that he should try to let Phil back into his life.

He tentatively walked out of his room, and slowly creeped into their living room. This is where he seemed to find Phil the most, and sure enough, there he was. Sitting on the couch, scrolling on his laptop. As Phil looked up, they made real eye contact for what was quite possibly the first time in almost a year. Phil furrowed his brow, obviously confused by this sudden turn of events. 

“H-hey…” said Dan, shifting closer to Phil. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do. His could hear his heart pounding, so he was sure that Phil could hear it too. He shuddered at the thought of Phil being able to hear his heartbeat, but he shoved the feeling down and tried his best to stay calm. He was still very, very afraid of Phil. But he knew Phil wouldn’t hurt him, it was just instincts telling him to leave. To run far, far away. But he couldn’t, no matter how much his brain was telling him to. He needed to do this. 

\----

“Hey?” Phil said, taken aback by Dan talking to him. If they ever talked at all, it was always Phil who started it. Dan never talked to him if he could help it. He still hated him, didn’t he? But if he did, then why would he talk to him? He didn’t quite understand what was going on, but he didn’t mind. Maybe this meant Dan was coming round to him again. Maybe this meant Dan was starting to be okay with the whole situation. 

“I think it’s about time we talked… About… y’know. All of this.” Dan said, shifting his weight from leg to leg. His heart was racing, Phil noted. Dan was still terrified of him, but he was talking. That was a step in the right direction, at least. 

“All of this?”

“Yeah. _This._ You being a vampire and all that. I didn’t exactly let there be a chance for talking about any of that when you first told me…” He looked down, apologetically. Phil gave an awkward laugh. He hoped Dan knew that he didn’t blame him for reacting badly. He would’ve reacted the same way. Maybe he should tell Dan that. 

“Well,” He says instead, “What exactly do you want to talk about?”

“I uh… I have a few questions.” Oh boy, here we go.


	7. My Past Is Present Always There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so you're gonna be getting 2 chapters today bc I couldn't post this when I finished it and I had the other already written so. Also my search history has gotten pretty weird because of writing this lmao

“I may not be able to answer all of the questions but I mean I’ll try.” Phil said, and Dan nodded. He understood that this would probably be hard for Phil, but he just had so many questions. He needed to get the answers for as many as he could. He’d been asking himself these things for so long now, and it was time he could let his mind rest.

“That’s alright. Um, okay. So, first question. How did you get turned? What happened?” Phil recounted the tale, and Dan hung onto his words, eyes wide. He grimaced, imagining this happening to Phil. He couldn’t believe that this actually happened. Phil was actually _killed_. And he couldn’t even really say he was lucky to be here, because he wasn’t. His whole world turned upside down. He couldn’t help thinking about what it would have been like if he was in Phil’s place.

“That sounds awful… I don’t think I’d be able to handle that.”

“Oh believe me, I couldn’t handle it. I was constantly freaking out for a long time. Of course it’s an extremely hard transition to make, and it all happened so suddenly…” He sighed, seemingly reflecting on his first days. Dan didn’t even want to think about how frightening it must have been for him. To wake up underground and learn you have to kill to survive. It was all just too much for Dan to have handled.

“Okay, and this is gonna be the last question that’s deep or whatever. But why did you chose to come back? Either time really, when it happened and when I found out. I mean I don’t know if I would have after all that.”

“To be honest, I don’t know. It would have been so much easier to just run and leave everything behind, but I didn’t. It was just one of those things, you know? I just felt like I had to. And actually, I think it was the best option to have come back. You living with me has really helped too. I’ve learned a way to go out in the day, my eating is being kept to a minimum, and I keep everything in check. I probably wouldn’t be able to say those things if I was out on my own.” Dan recoiled a bit at the mention of eating. Sometimes it doesn’t really occur to him that Phil actually kills people, but he does. It’s real, and this is his life. He’s not going to let that fear consume him like it had. He reminded himself that this was just how Phil survived and looked back up at him.

“Just one of those things, huh?”

“I felt like there wasn’t really much of a question if I’d stay or not. I couldn’t just disappear on you, and it’s not like I could have given a very good excuse to leave. I couldn’t let myself hurt you like that. I cared about you too much for that. I still care about you too much to do that. It’s why I stayed after you found out.”

“Oh… I’m sorry I threatened to leave, by the way. I wouldn’t have done that to you.”

“It’s alright. You were scared, I understand. I’d still understand if you decided to leave.” Despite his words, he got a sad look on his face. It was like he was still expecting Dan to leave him at any time.

“Hey, no. I’m not going to leave, alright? We can work this out. I’m sure of it. I mean, this time a few months ago I wouldn’t have even talked to you. This is progress. We might not make it completely back to where we were, but we can get pretty close.” Phil nodded, and a small smile played on his face. His eyes still held the same sadness though, like he thought this was an empty promise. 

“Okay, so some more superficial questions. How do you talk if you can’t breathe?”

“Magic,” Phil said. He didn’t know the answer but that couldn’t be too far from the truth, right? “I don’t actually know so…”

“Alright then. Uh, how do you blush with no beating heart?” Phil went to reply again, presumably with the same answer as the previous question, but he paused, mulling it over.

“Maybe it has something to do with the blood we consume? I’m just throwing things out here though so I don’t know. Or maybe it’s just a formality thing to make me seem more human. Like a function that has no real use.” Phil shrugged. 

“Maybe it’s both. Who knows. On a similar note, do you have any idea as to how you bleed? That one really doesn’t make sense to me.”

“I think it may be because of the whole turning thing? Like the human has to drink some of the vampire’s blood to turn them, so it may be a necessity. Actually that might explain the whole blushing thing, too.” Dan nodded. This all made sense, but he was still reeling a bit from the fact that he’s talking to a vampire. He has to continuously remind himself that this is real and actually happening. 

They sit there for a long while, playing 20 questions, with Phil answering all he can. He even asks Dan a few things at one point. After a while they run out of questions and resort to just talking about anything and everything, just like they used to. Eventually, though, it gets late and Phil shifts around awkwardly. Dan looks at him curiously, wondering why he was acting strange. He hadn’t said anything, had he? He didn’t think he did.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, and Phil nervously looked away.

“I- uh… I haven’t gone out in a few days so… yeah…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah I really gotta go.”

“Y-you can’t like wait another day or something?”

“No. I can’t.” Phil’s expression grew dark. Dan, who had apparently gotten closer to Phil over the course of their conversation, moved away, frightened by the sudden change in Phil’s demeanor. He hadn’t seen him act like that often, and it was just another way to drive home that this wasn’t his Phil. This was the real Phil. 

“O-okay." 

“Yeah so I’ll uh… see you tomorrow then I guess.” His expression lightened again as he got up and walked to his room. He had to pass the living room to get to the door, so Dan saw that he had changed into slightly nicer clothes. As he got to the door, he gave Dan an awkward, apologetic glance before opening it. 

“Bye…” Dan said. Their conversation had been going so well. Most of the fear had dissipated, and they were talking just like they used to. But that look that Phil gave him… It reminded Dan of just how dangerous he could be. 

They were talking now, though. That was the important thing. He wanted things between them to be better. He wanted to get to know Phil, the real Phil. Not just whatever he lets Dan see of him. Then he can decide if he should be afraid of him. Just because he was scared, it didn’t mean he needed to be. He didn’t really give Phil a chance before, but now here it was. He was going to make things work. He _had_ to make things work. 

\-----

Over time, Dan started to realize just how much of Phil was real. He was still a huge dork who liked to make puns. And he still was a happy ray of sunshine, despite all he’s been through. But most importantly, he knew that Phil still loved him. He still looked at him with the same expression that he did all those years ago. He still did all the things he used to do. He was still the Phil he knew, and he still loved Dan. That was all that mattered.


	8. Your Ghost Becomes Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you thought I was done with all this angst lmao I love suffering

Dan leaned against the wall of a shop, the lights bright in a festive gleam. He stood there, watching the people pass him by. Him and Phil had been shopping, filming another festive day in the life, but Phil had seemed off. It was like he was antsy or worried about something. Dan had been around Phil long enough now to realize what this meant and Phil had slipped away shortly after Dan had noticed his behavior. He sure didn’t want to think about what he was doing, so he tried to occupy his thoughts. Dan may have come to terms with his boyfriend being a vampire, but he didn’t want to dwell on what it meant when he left in the night. He kept his mind occupied and away from whatever Phil was doing right now by watching the few people trickle out of the shops, heading home as the stores closed up. 

Dan sighed as he saw a stranger approaching him. Probably another fan, wanting to get pictures. Don’t get him wrong, he loved talking to fans and interacting with them. But right now he just didn’t have the energy to. They would probably ask about Phil and he was tired of making up excuses as to where he had gone. He put on a smile anyway as the man got to the other side of the street. His smile fell, however, when he saw the man’s expression. He was angry; really angry. Why was he coming over here? What had Dan done to prompt this anger? He tried to search his brain for something he had done, but came up blank.

“Hey! Faggot!” The man said, shocking Dan. Had he meant him? Well, of course he did. He was looking directly at Dan.

“Excuse me?” Dan was incredulous. Isn’t this kind of prejudice a bit outdated? He supposed it was a bit stupid to expect it had died out by now, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t surprised at this man’s words.

“I’ve seen you and that other faggot walking down the street together. It’s sickening.” He guessed by ‘that other faggot’ he’d meant Phil. If this man knew what Phil could do to him, he’d never so much as look in their direction again, but Phil was nowhere near here. He was too busy taking the life of someone who probably doesn’t even deserve it, while he was stuck here with some bigoted prick. He looked around to see if anyone else had heard this man yelling at him, but it seemed that everyone had gone, the lights now out in all the stores. Dan was now in a dilemma, stuck alone on the street with this stranger. 

The man continued advancing towards him, and Dan backed away in return. The closer he got, the more scared Dan became. What was the man planning? What was he going to do to him? Well, he could probably take a pretty good guess at that one. This man planned to kill him, or at least beat him to a bloody pulp. He kept backing away from the man, until he hit a wall. In his panic, he had let himself be led into a dead end. There was nowhere to run. All he could hope for now was that Phil would come back soon enough to save him. 

The stranger reached him, and before Dan could even react he was kicked in the stomach. All the air left his body as he buckled in on himself. The man then swept his legs out from under him and Dan was on the ground. He kept kicking and kicking and Dan was sure that a good few of his ribs were cracked. He wasn’t given time to get up or to fight back. The man just kept kicking, aiming for the face, the chest, anywhere where it would hurt. Dan had nothing else to do but curl up and try to protect himself. He could feel his consciousness slipping with every blow, but before he could actually pass out, the blows stopped. He slowly lifted his head to look at the attacker. His eye was already starting to swell, and his vision was slightly blurry, but he did his best to see what was happening.

The man was digging in his pocket. _What was he grabbing? Surely something to kill him with, as if he hadn’t done enough damage already,_ Dan thought bitterly. Seizing this moment as a possibility to escape, he started crawling away, as crawling was all he could do. The attacker made a noise of satisfaction, seemingly finding what he was looking for. Dan glanced back, quickly recognizing the menacing glint of a knife. He crawled faster, trying not to scream from the pain coursing through his entire body. Before Dan could escape, he plunged the knife down into the soft flesh of his back, causing Dan to stop crawling and cry out in pain. He was sure he wasn’t getting out of this. He knew he was losing blood fast and there was no way of surviving. _Was this how Phil felt when he was attacked?_ He thought to himself. Well, Dan knew there was no way he was going to wake up from this one, not like Phil did. He watched as his killer walked away, seemingly satisfied with what he had done. As he disappeared into the distance, Dan closed his eyes. 

\------

As Phil walked back to the town, he noticed just how dark it had gotten. _Well, we’re certainly not going to get any more footage tonight. Maybe we could come back tomorrow._ He felt bad for making Dan wait on him, but he needed to eat. All of the shops were closed now, and they weren’t done filming. They would have to come back out again, otherwise they wouldn’t have enough footage. 

He was just leisurely walking down the road, thinking about what they could do about the video, when he smelled something very familiar. He smelled blood. He’s the only vampire in this area, or at least the only one he knows of, so why would he be smelling blood? Curious, he started heading towards the scent. As he approached it, he heard a yell. He rushed towards it and came across a crumpled, bloodied figure lying on the ground. They were barely breathing and he couldn’t hear a heartbeat from here he was. This wasn’t the work of a vampire, he realized. It was too violent and sloppy. No, this was the work of a human. He looked around, but the perpetrator was nowhere to be found. 

He slowly approached the figure, careful not to scare them. As he kneeled down in front of them, though, he realized who it was. It was Dan lying there, bruised and bleeding.

“Dan? Oh god what happened to you? Where’s all of this blood coming from?” Dan didn’t open his eyes when Phil talked to him. He was panicking and tears quickly began streaming from his eyes, obstructing his vision. Alright, he needed to keep calm. He couldn’t help Dan if he didn’t stay calm. Phil could hear a faint heartbeat now, so he was still alive. Okay, he could work with that. He just needed to find where the all the bleeding was and stop it. That can’t be that hard, right?

The smell was overwhelming him. There was just _so much blood._ He was having trouble focusing, but he did his best to shake the thoughts from his mind. Dan was _dying_ and he needed to help him. He shifted Dan slightly, careful to hurt him as little as possible. He could see the wound now. He put pressure on it, trying to stop what little blood dan had left from leaving his body. 

“Dan? Dan please. Open your eyes.” No response. 

“ _Dan._ You need to wake up. Come on, stay with me.” A flutter of an eyelid. The bleeding slowed.

“Come on, you can’t die. Not like this. Not yet.” Another flutter.

“Come on. You were supposed to grow old for the both of us. You were supposed to _live_.” His eyes open, but it was clear that he wasn’t completely aware of what was happening.

“That’s it. You’ll be okay. Just don’t close your eyes again, okay?” 

“Phil..?” Dan croaked out. He coughed, blood trickling down his chin.

“Don’t try to talk. Just focus on staying awake, okay? Just stay with me.” Phil could hear Dan’s heart slowing. He needed to do something, quickly. Dan’s eyes began to close again. Phil had to take the only action he could.

“No! Don’t close your eyes. Here-” He bit his wrist, his blood beginning to flow. “Drink this, okay? You’ll feel better in a little while. I promise.” Dan, still unaware of his circumstances, put his mouth to Phil’s wrist and let the blood fall into his mouth. Phil knew how this worked, but not how much blood they had to take from each other. He figured it wasn’t much, since he couldn’t have gotten much blood in his mouth when he had been turned. It must go the same for him, right? The vampire wouldn’t have to take much blood from a human, he was sure. Besides, there wasn’t like there was much left to take anyway. He whispered an apology before biting into the soft tissue of his boyfriend’s neck. Dan’s eyes were still closed, and he didn’t hear a heartbeat anymore. Phil had a moment of panic, thinking that it didn’t work, before remembering that he had woken up in the coffin. It takes a while. He’d wake up soon enough, right?

Phil may not have been entirely sure on how this worked, but he knew he wasn’t going to make Dan go through the hell that was escaping your grave. Still not entirely confident that it had worked, he picked Dan’s corpse -was it really a corpse if it was going to wake up again?- and headed to the flat, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible. That wasn’t exactly easy to do, however, given the extensive blood on both of them and the limp form he was carrying. Luckily for Phil, they were still alone on the street. He made a rather uneventful return to the flat, even the neighbours seeming to not notice them. He gently layed Dan on the couch and waited.

\-------

The anxiety was starting to set in. Maybe it hadn’t actually worked. Maybe Dan was really gone forever. This was taking a long time. It had been nearly two days already and Dan was just as still as ever. No, Phil reminded himself, _If I had been buried, I must have been dead for a while. This is going to take a while._ Phil sighed and rested his head on his hand, desperately wishing he could sleep. For some reason some part of vampire physiology decided that he no longer needed or is able to sleep, even if he wanted to. All he could do was sit here, stressing and staring at Dan. At least there was no chance of missing him waking up again. That didn’t seem to be happening any time soon, though.

Phil sat there, looking at the lifeless body on the couch and began to doubt his choices. Was turning Dan really the best option? Maybe he would have been better off dying. He did have a decent life, and he wouldn’t have to deal with what Phil was forced to do. Dan probably didn’t want this. He had tried being vegan multiple times, so there was no way he’d be okay with this. Phil couldn’t just let him die though, he couldn’t let it end so quickly. He was too young to die. Phil didn’t even know what happened yet, other than what he could guess from the wounds he saw. 

Phil knew it was a human who did this. It was far too sloppy to be a vampire, and there was too much blood everywhere. He resented the fact that people would even think of taking a life unless it was completely necessary. Phil did it to survive, they did it to play god. People referred to him as a monster, but they were the real monsters here. Taking people’s lives for no reason other than the rush.

\-----

Phil was still lost in this train of thought when he noticed something. Was that a twitch? Did Dan actually move or were Phil’s eyes playing tricks on him? No, Phil was certain he had moved. He jumped out of his chair and over to Dan. Just as he reached him, Dan opened his eyes and shot up, looking around, clearly scared.

“Shh, Dan it’s okay. I’m here. You’re home. You’re safe.” Phil reassured. Dan visibly calmed when he realized where he was. As soon as he calmed down though, a puzzled expression crossed his face.

“H-how am I here..? I thought I surely would have died…” Phil sighed. How would he react when he told him?

“Well…” Phil started, “You kind of did… die. In a way.” He gave Phil another puzzled look.

“What? I don’t understand. How did I die if you’re...” He trailed off, seeming to have put together what had happened. His eyes widened as he looked at Phil. “Oh.”

“I’m so sorry I just- I didn’t know what to do! You were dying and there was _so much blood_ and I couldn’t just let you bleed out but there was nothing else to-” 

“It’s okay… It’s just- It’s a lot to process.” Dan cut off. 

“Really?” 

“Yes. Besides, it’s not like I wanted to die anyway.” He let out a little laugh, and for the first time in the past few days Phil cracked a smile.

“You sure you’re not upset I that I did this to you?”

“Phil, you didn’t do this to me. The guy that attacked me did.”

“Yeah, but still. I forced you into this.”

“I would have died otherwise. You did what you had to do.”

“No, I didn’t. There had to be some other option. I chose this for you and now you’re stuck being like me.”

“Phil, you need to stop blaming yourself. None of this was your fault. I would have been dead if you hadn’t done this.”

“I don’t think you understand. This is _so much worse._ The inevitability that you’ll outlive your loved ones, having to kill to survive, not being able to go outside, there’s just so much to being _this_. It’s honestly worse than death.” 

“Wow… I didn’t know it was like that for you…” Phil sighed. Of course he didn’t, Phil did his best to hide this part. The painful part. Now Dan has to deal with it, too. He’ll be faced with the harsh reality that Phil’s dealt with for years now. 

“Well, you get used to it over time, I guess. It becomes background noise in your head, you know?” Dan nodded. At least that was true, and it wasn’t a constant burden. You really do just get over it after a while. It becomes less and less scary. 

“Okay but why does my throat hurt so much? Is this normal?”

“Oh yeah... There’s that, too. That becomes background noise too, to a point. Just make sure not to let it get too bad. That’s how accidents happen.” Phil’s never actually had that happen, but he’s gotten close several times. He wants to make sure Dan doesn’t try to ignore it like he had in the past. 

“Accidents..? Oh… _Oh._ So this is because…” Dan’s eyes widened, seemingly realizing what he had to do to rid the burning in his throat.

“Yeah… I’ll help you though, if you want.” Dan sighed and ran his hand through his hair. The reality of it all must have been catching up to him now. He sat there like that for a few moments, then finally nodded.

“There’s no way of getting around this I suppose...” 


	9. The Grave Awaits the Condemned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long oh my god. There was a whole shitstorm of things in my life I had to deal with before getting back to finishing this chapter so it took me forever to get it posted. Soz again.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Yes, Phil. For the eightieth time. I am fine.”

“Alright…” Dan could tell Phil still didn’t believe him, despite it mostly being the truth. He was fine, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still pretty shaken up. So, he just sighed and let himself be guided into the house and onto the couch. Being shaken up is understandable though, considering he did just go out and kill someone. Phil had said it would be easy once instincts kicked in, but they never seemed to, at least not that he was aware of. Maybe his instincts were just slower, like the transition to vampire was still happening and he hadn’t gotten that part yet. Phil did say it took him a while before he actually ate something, so maybe this was normal. Maybe he was just still a bit too human for this. At least he did manage to power through it, though. And he did feel a lot better, the burning in his throat had gone and he had more energy. He just hoped it’d be easier next time.

“Okay. So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I want to know what happened. When I got to you, you were already almost dead…” Phil said and Dan shuddered, imagining what the scene must have looked like. He couldn’t imagine what was going through Phil’s head when he found him. 

“Well, I suppose I’ll just tell you everything that I remember, which isn’t a lot. It’s all a bit of a blur.”

“Yeah, whatever you remember. You don’t have to tell me every little detail.”

“Alright…” He said, sighing and delving into the trauma that had happened to him. “Well, you had left and all, and I saw this guy across the street. And just as I noticed him he started walking over. Everyone else had gone at that point so I’m like ‘Okay, this is weird. But maybe he’s a fan or whatever.’ But then I see his face. He looked so _angry_ at me. I mean it was like I had done something to him and everyone he loved or something it was ridiculous. And then he started throwing slurs at me and I knew I was in for something bad.”

“Slurs?” Phil looked perplexed for a moment, probably wracking his brain for what slurs someone could possibly throw at a posh-looking white man, but then it seemed to click. His eyes widened as he looked at Dan. 

“Yeah... He said he had seen us earlier.” Dan sighed. “It’s just crazy that shit like this still happens, like I’ve met some homophobes before, some pretty nasty ones as well, but I’ve never seen someone with such pure hatred in their eyes.” He shuddered slightly, thinking back at the man’s expression. He looked up at Phil to see his eyebrows knit together. Dan could tell he didn’t really want to be listening to this, but he needed to know. He was the one that had asked, after all. “But he basically backed me into a corner after yelling at me. I couldn’t run, couldn’t move more than a foot in any direction, really. I had been scared before, but by the first punch I… I basically knew I wasn’t going to leave the alley.” Phil’s face scrunched up again. Dan couldn’t quite figure out the expression on his face, but he seemed deep in thought. He was probably trying to avoid imagining this. Dan knew this must be hard for him, but it was possibly even harder for Dan to have to relive what he went through. 

“That sounds terrifying.” Phil said, still with the same, far off expression and Dan had to wonder what he was thinking about. Maybe just how many times he’s had to do the same thing to someone, just to ensure they couldn’t run from him. How many times would Dan have to do that himself? Inflicting that same fear onto someone else. He broke himself from thinking like this by reminding himself that they are completely different from the man that attacked him. They did it because of necessity. It’s just how they survived. There was no malice or hatred, unlike that guy. He redirected himself back to the conversation at hand, and if he had made any indication of where his thoughts were, Phil didn’t seem to have noticed. 

“Yeah, that’s a bit of an understatement, honestly. I was scared out of my mind. But, luckily for me, I don’t really remember anything after that. It’s all fuzzy other than a lot of pain. I don’t even remember you showing up. Oh- but I do remember trying to escape once. I was on the ground and I think I saw… like a knife or something? In the guy’s hand and I freaked so I tried to get away. And, well… I guess we both know how well that worked out…” He gave an awkward laugh, but Phil didn’t smile in return. He was still lost in whatever world his brain had gone to. Dan didn’t know what Phil was thinking about, and all he could focus on was how glad he was he couldn’t remember much. He figured eventually the fog over the incident will start to clear, but for now he was safe to revisit what little he could remember. It wasn’t the worst of it yet. He didn’t want to have to remember all of it, all the pain and fear and every excruciating moment lying on the ground, waiting for death to come. 

Phil stood up suddenly, jerking Dan away from his thoughts. He still had that same expression, only now Dan could make out just what it was. Phil was angry, but why? Dan had expected him to be concerned or sympathetic or something, not angry. What would he even have to be angry about?

“Phil? What’s wrong?” Dan prompted.

“That guy isn’t going to hurt anyone else.” 

“What do you mean?” Phil’s face had gone dark, a look that no matter how many times Dan had seen it, still managed to scare him.

“I’m putting a stop to this. If this guy has the audacity to kill for his stupid bigoted reasons, then he’s gonna have to answer for his actions.”

“You don’t mean…” Phil wasn’t actually going to kill this guy, was he? Dan knew he shouldn’t really be surprised with what he was,- they both were- but he couldn’t help it. He’d rarely, if at all, seen Phil like this. Normally he just didn’t think about who he’d kill, and attributed their misfortune with happenstance. He’s never killed someone out of anger, but then again Dan had never seen him this angry. 

“Think about it, Dan. Who else is he going to do this to? Who else has he killed already? Who has he attacked that couldn’t come back like you did? He can’t go on like this. It won’t stop unless he’s dead.” Dan nodded. He couldn’t lie, something in his brain agreed that this was what they should do. And at least they’d be getting someone like this off the streets. At least this guy deserved it. And Phil was right, this guy would definitely kill again if he had the chance, and they could potentially stop it. So, would it be so bad if they did? 

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. But we can’t just jump up and go out there now, it’s not that easy. We need a plan on how to go about this.” Dan couldn’t believe this was his life now. They were actually about to commit premeditated murder on the man who killed him. 

“Alright. Then how are we going to go about this?” 

\-----------

“Tonight’s the night.” Dan said, brimming with what could either be anticipation or nervousness, he couldn’t really tell. They had their plan set up, and they’d go through with it tonight. His killer would pay for what he did and what he would inevitably do to others. 

“Are you excited? This is going to be pretty different than a normal kill.” 

“I don’t know. I’m pretty nervous…” Dan admitted. They may have a decent enough plan, but he couldn’t help but worry that something will go wrong.

“It’ll be fine. Besides, I’ll be doing most of the work anyway. I know what I’m doing.” This quelled Dan’s fears, but only slightly. Phil had more experience in this than Dan did, so he’d be doing the actual killing, but Dan would be in charge of making sure he didn’t get away and watching to make sure no one saw them. Ha wasn’t sure why he needed to keep watch or anything, it’s not like it takes very long to drain someone, but maybe Phil had something in mind. Dan supposed he may just want to take every precaution he can, since neither of them had actually done this before. 

Dan checked the clock on the wall, and according to the time, the sun had set. He pulled back the curtain on the window ever so slightly and sure enough, the sun was nowhere to be seen. Just a clear black night that now permeated his existence. He was sure now that if his heart could beat it would be racing. They were actually about to do this. 

“It’s time,” He said, standing from his position on the couch. Phil nodded, stood in turn, and walked to the door, with Dan close behind. 

They walked out into the night air that no longer chilled their skin and headed towards town. Dan just hoped he’d be there so they could get this over with. As they walked, Dan began to get more and more nervous. They didn’t even know if the guy would turn up or not. What is he didn’t? Would they have to come back every night until he did? Dan wasn’t sure if he wanted to do that. This guy wasn’t really worth all that trouble. Sure, he may have almost killed him, but was getting revenge all that important? All his worrying went away, however, when they walked past a shop, the lights bright in Dan’s eyes as he peered in. He had done this a million times in every shop they passed, with Phil doing the same from the other side. However, this time, what he saw would have made his heart stop if it hadn’t already. It was him, his killer. He nudged Phil, nodding towards the man. Phil’s expression darkened once again as the realness of the situation loomed over him. They were about to do this, and they had to do it now.

They waited for him to leave the store, making sure to stand in a visible position. They wanted him to see them, to know that Dan was alive. When he emerged from the store, he turned towards where Dan and Phil were standing, waiting. Dan made a point to wait until he had noticed them, flashed him a defiant smile, and pulled Phil into a kiss. He could practically feel the shock and anger rising from the unwilling spectator. Ha, Dan thought, he may be angry now, but just wait. He thought he heard the flash of a camera, but he didn’t care. They would have had to make this video eventually, it’s just a little sooner than they had planned. 

When they parted, the looked back at the man once more. He was fuming, just the same as on the night he attacked Dan. 

“Okay,” He paused, moving closer and quieting his voice as to not attract attention to them. “Maybe you managed to survive, but how about your boyfriend? Would he be so lucky?” They feigned fear, Phil clinging closer to Dan. Dan had to pride him and Phil for their acting skills, the guy actually seemed to be buying this. They backed away, and he took the bait, following them with haste. They backed themselves into an alley, and as Dan surveyed where they had ended up, he couldn’t help but notice the irony of it. They had managed to land in the same alley that this man had attacked Dan in. He was repeating the steps he had made only a short time ago. The only difference was that Phil was with him now, and the feeling of fear was replaced with determination and anticipation. He had already faced death, but now it was this guy’s turn and for once, it was someone who wholly deserved it. Their backs hit the wall and the attacker pulled out a knife from his coat. Does he just carry that around everywhere? Dan wondered to himself, _He must take every chance he gets to do what he did to me if he keeps that on him_. 

“This is what you fags get. I don’t know how you survived last time, but I’ll make sure neither of you get to walk away from this.” Phil’s expression cracked, giving way to a slight smile. 

“What? Why are you smiling? Is there something funny?” He yelled. His face was turning red from anger, only furthering the comicalness of their situation. Not only did this guy believe he stood a chance of hurting them, but he also looked like an angry tomato. Dan managed to keep his composure, but Phil started to chuckle at the sight in front of them. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just that you think you have a chance.”

“Wha-” He trailed off as Phil’s face transformed, exposing the truth of what he could do. The wanna-be attacker’s eyes widened, but before he could run Dan moved behind him, cutting him off. Dan smirked as he heard the man’s heart beat quicken in his chest as he searched for a way to escape, but soon realized there was none. He was trapped here, between the man he had killed and a creature of nightmares. He seemed to realise that it was no use to fight, but it didn’t mean he didn’t still try. He lashed out at Phil, the knife coming up short as his wrist was grabbed. Phil smiled at him, almost pitying this guy’s desperate attempts at escape. Almost being the key word, as neither of them could have any empathy towards this sorry excuse for a human being. 

As Phil let go of the man’s wrist, he took this chance to strike again. He slashed wildly, and this time he managed to land a blow. Dan winced as Phil drew back his arm, surveying a nasty cut. He knew Phil would be fine, but he couldn’t help thinking about how painful that must be. 

“You know, you’re really just digging your own grave here. I mean, not only have you now just about killed by boyfriend, but now you’ve sliced my arm open. Not really helping you survive right now.” 

“Please.” The man all but whimpered. Now it was Dan’s turn to make this guy feel as small as he did. 

“Oh so you think,” The man turned to him, wide eyed and heart racing, “that after you pretty much fucking killed me, that you saying please will make us change our minds about this? You think asking us politely will stop this? No, you’re going to go through exactly what I did. This is what you fucking deserve.” 

The man swung the knife again, but Dan simply knocked the knife out of his hand and pushed him back towards Phil. 

“Let’s just get this over with before someone comes.” Phil nodded, then lunged. 


End file.
